Relationships

When a relationship comes to an end, it can feel hard to cope. Good ways to help you understand and accept your feelings may be to:

• talk it through with someone you trust, like close friends or family
• distract yourself with hobbies, films or getting out and about
• create a good network of people around you to help you learn lessons for future relationships

It is normal to feel low after the end of a relationship, but normally, this gets better with time. If you are affected for longer than you would have expected, speak to a trusted adult. It may also be helpful to speak to your GP. 

No matter how old you are, whether you’re gay or straight or in a long or short term relationship, some things should look the same if the relationship is a healthy and happy one. All relationships have ups and downs, but they should be based on respect, trust and communication. That’s true whether it’s your relationship with your friends, your family or your partner.

However, if you are feeling scared, unhappy, or your partner tries to control what you wear or who you see, it may be time to think if that relationship is right for you.

Some relationships are not healthy or may become unhealthy over time. Different types of abuse in relationships are not as easy to spot as you might think.

It can be hard to see the signs of an abusive relationship when you are in it, so talk to trusted friends and family for advice.

Things you should ask yourself about your partner:

• do they stop you from seeing your friends and family?
• do they expect you to change your plans to fit in with them?
• do they criticise the way you look and tell you what to wear?
• do they pressure you to do something sexually that you are not comfortable with?

Online dating can be great, but it’s smart to be cautious by following these practical tips:

Protect your personal info 

• Don’t share your full name, home address, workplace, or daily routine early on
• Use the app’s messaging system at first instead of giving out your phone number 
• Be careful with photos and check what’s visible in the background, like street signs or work badges

Watch for these warning signs:

• They rush intimacy, push for off-app chats right away, or talk about “fate” very early
• Their stories don’t line up, or they avoid answering basic questions
• They ask for money, gift cards, crypto, or “help” with an emergency- this is a scam

Verify before meeting 

• Do a quick video call, as this will confirm they are who they say they are, and it saves time 
• A simple web search of their first name and photos can catch obvious fakes

First dates 

• Meet in a public place, coffee shops and busy bars are good options 
• Tell a friend where you’re going, who you’re meeting, and when you’ll check in 
• Keep your phone charged and accessible 
• Trust your instincts 
• If something feels off, you don’t owe anyone an explanation 
• It’s okay to leave a date early or stop responding if you’re uncomfortable 

Be careful with alcohol 

• Keep an eye on your drink to make sure nothing is added to it
• Don’t feel pressured to drink more than you want 

After the date 

• Take your time before sharing more personal details
• If someone behaves inappropriately, report them in the app; this will help to protect others, too.