Pornography
What is pornography?
Pornography is a video, a story, or an image that has been created to make someone feel sexually aroused. All porn is made for adults and is based on fantasy, which means it's very different from real-life relationships.
Watching porn is a choice, and it's not illegal to watch some types of porn when you are under 18, but it is illegal for someone to show you anything pornographic or give you access to it if you are under 16.
It is natural to be interested in sex and to want to explore it more, but it is also important to understand the potential dangers of watching pornography.
Pornography can be dangerous because it changes how people think about sex and relationships. It often shows fake bodies and fake behaviour, which can create unhealthy expectations. Some people begin to see others as objects instead of real human beings with feelings. Over time, frequent use can lead to addiction, making it hard to stop even when it causes problems. It can affect mental health, causing anxiety, shame, or loneliness. Pornography can also hurt real relationships by reducing trust and intimacy.
Learning about respect, consent, and real connection is safer and healthier than learning from porn.
Pornography is made for adults (aged 18 and over). If you choose to use it, do so with care. You should:
- pick legal sites that respect consent and age rules
- protect your privacy with strong passwords and secure devices
- set time limits so it does not replace sleep, work or relationships
- remember that porn is acting, not real life. Bodies, sex, and reactions are often exaggerated
- do not pressure partners to copy what you see
- take a break and talk to someone you trust or a professional if you feel shame, stress, or loss of control
You shouldn't feel worried or ashamed if you are curious about watching pornography. However, there are some circumstances when porn is illegal, these include:
- showing someone porn or giving them access to porn when they are under the age of 16
- porn which uses videos or images of someone under the age of 18 doing something sexual, including sexting
- porn that includes scenes of rape, pretend or otherwise
- images or videos that depict sexual acts with animals or dead people
- anything that might put someone's life in danger or risk physically hurting someone
While some porn is created to arouse, other types of porn can be made to shock and rack up views online. As a consequence, it can involve harmful behaviour like violence.
Studies have shown that the majority of harmful behaviour in porn is directed towards women, girls and people with a cervix, and it doesn't represent what real, healthy relationships and sex look like. This can give you an unbalanced view of how to treat them in real life.
Examples of how these disrespectful behaviours affect people in real life can include sharing 'nudes' and revenge porn.
Porn should never be used to teach you how to have sex, as it doesn't show what sex is like in real life.
Certain harmful behaviours like violence during sex, non-consensual sex (not having consent) or behaviour that is degrading to someone else can cause harm, both physically and mentally. Watching porn that shows aggressive behaviours during sex can lead to you not realising what is acceptable and consensual in a healthy relationship.
Addictions are when you feel like you can't stop doing something. Unlike drug abuse, porn addiction is a behavioural addiction, meaning that you don't have physical withdrawal symptoms, but you could:
- feel strong urges to watch porn regularly
- spend a lot of time thinking about porn
- don't feel in control of the amount of porn you watch
- notice it affects how you feel during sex in real life
Addictions can happen to anyone and are treatable. It can sometimes occur as a way of dealing with difficult feelings or sensory challenges.
Counselling and therapy have been proven to be effective ways of dealing with an addiction to porn, including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which is a type of talking therapy aimed at understanding your behaviours and helping change them.
